Just hurting myself

I slowly realized that what my father used to told me is really true. (in chinese) "When you lie, you don't cheat the people around, you only cheat yourself". When he first said that to me it was weird, after a few times, i deviced a way not to tell the truth, but still telling no lies. Example: when i finish work and yet my boss tells me to patch all the games, while i install new ones. i'll just install the new one. when they ask me if i finished my task i'll say yes. i didn't finish my whole job, but i still install the new games which in turn doing my job. which they would believe, i me making a fool of myself.

although its true that i have many crushes as in. there's this person who you just feel jealous when she's with someone else. doing nothing even if i have many chances to get closer. what a fool. hurting myself... lying my way out just to escape intrigue. maybe just part of my life i'd like to keep to myself. hoping maybe i'm doing the right thing doing nothing right now. cause i could still wait and all.

i envy people having most things in life and i would always tell them "i'm happy with my simple life". heck my car is already breaking down, no matter how my uncle like to keep the car, repairing it for me to use, i just feel like, i'm left out of society in that car. no radio, and the windshield fogs if it rains. the only advantages of having that car is ... having a car, small and still has better fuel efficiency that some new cars. cellular phones, 3310 gotta love it i accidently throw the phone backwards but it still works, but of course i want to have something new. computer, yes i want a super computer with the best specs i could imagine. and have someone...

if i envy people like that what would people in the streets envy about me. the car? cellular phone? heck some people in the squatters has a better cellular phone than i have. computer, maybe some people still doesn't have those yet..

well ... shesh this life is going to be wasted if i kept on dreaming... but still don't know what to do...

Tickle

The Super IQ Test
How Smart Are You Really?
Adrian clement, your Super IQ score is 109

Your overall intelligence quotient is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly. But it's only part of what we learned about you from your answers on the test. We also determined the way you process information.

The way you think about things makes you a Conceptual Synthesizer. This means you easily grasp underlying concepts when learning something new. You're also able to see complex relationships between ideas that are not always apparent to other people. You're very focused in your approach to life and are not easily distracted.

How did we determine that your thinking style is that of a Conceptual Synthesizer? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you a Conceptual Synthesizer. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.

Hm... 109? is that good?


The Career Makeover
Adrian clement, you're an Architect!

For you, the world is like one giant puzzle, just waiting to be solved. In your undying quest for the truth, you're best at finding solutions to complex problems. Lucky for all of us, though, you love to share your brilliant thoughts. Your keen analytical skills and understanding of others makes you a vital player in the think tank. You thrive on the collaborative problem-solving process, could trouble shoot for NASA, and won't rest until the questions are answered. The world could use a few more like you.

Who's like you:
Sigmund Freud

Likely careers:
Psychologist, lawyer, market researcher, military strategist, PR strategist

Maybe I answered a wrong question.


Are You a Perfectionist?
Adrian clement, you're a Total Middle!

Appearance | Possessions | Work


less perfectionist more perfectionist

Appearance
Although you're probably very conscious of how you look, you're willing to occasionally leave your house without every hair in place and every crease in line. You're very aware of your appearance, but you don't obsess about it. You're okay with changes in your getting-ready routine, and are fine with not always looking your absolute best.


less perfectionist more perfectionist

Possessions
Looks like you take very good care of your possessions — without obsessing about them. Since you probably take pride in the condition of your things, you like to keep your surroundings in a relatively neat, organized state. But you know that every little thing doesn't necessarily have one spot it has to be in at all times, and you're just fine if everything isn't always in peak shape. That's a great attitude — being aware of, but not overly concerned about, your possessions is an effective way of extending the lifespan of your things without causing yourself undue stress.


less perfectionist more perfectionist

Work
We can tell that you prefer to turn in top-notch work and always invest a significant amount of pride in every task you take on. But you also understand that it's important to have an open mind and a flexible attitude at work. That's why you're able to occasionally let your personal standards slide a little when your employer needs you to. So you stay open to change, while at the same time remaining organized and efficient enough to plan out a day or week at a time. Keep up the good balance!

Well, just me, nothing to do. Mr. HRIM told me to try the super iq test of tickle. And I just went a bit further.

Tears

Well we watch a movie yesterday "Just Like Heaven" at G3 which was worth 160php. Took the last show 11:30pm. Very simple summary .

*SPOILER ALERT*
It was about a girl, a doctor, who was really hard working and didn't think much about anything else. The very beginnig of the story was about her sitting on a chair in a beautiful garden, woke up to reality worked... She was on the way to her sisters who set up a date for her. Until she met a car accident, which lead her in a state of coma. Then it switch to the guy, who was looking for new place to stay. By amazing forces he was lead to a sublet where the girl used to live. And found that the couch was good, I don't know what it is about the couch, and it has access to the roof top. Then, they met each other, the guy was lost and the girl, spirit, a bit lost as well but thought that the guy at first was a homeless person. Then the girl slowly realize that something was wrong with her. The guy paranoid about it tried to ward her away with different type enchantments and even called the ghost buster =D. What's worst is that the girl doesn't remember anything except for details in her sublet. Trying to find clues of whom she was. The guy and the girl started to find clues and went places. The guy then showed the girl who he was. The guy was an landscape architect, and designed the garden that the girl dreamed about. Going along a restaurant, a man collapsed with some kind of sickness, sorry I forgot, and the girl started to remember that she was a doctor. Telling the guy how to save the unconscious man. And guess what, the guy survived. Moving on, knowing that she was a doctor, she knew that she must be working at the nearest hospital. In the hospital they slowly learned who she was and what happened to her. Then she saw her sister. Remembering everything, suddenly they knew, she was about to be removed from life support the next day. Which will mercy kill her. They deviced a plan to save her. Doing everything he can to save her it was nearly to late until he kissed her. And she came back to life. But not remembering who the guy was. The girl got the apartment back. Went to the roof top and saw a garden. The guy was there and when the held hands, said her name, which made her remember, and they kissed.
*End of Spoiler*

Sorry I'm not that good in writing summaries, and I think I got some event in the wrong time. Some are just too short that I skipped the event.

As one of my buddies said these movies have the same concept, cliches. You knew what was about to happen in the end. But I mean hey, it the feeling, experience, company, and story you get.

Now for the tear part... Yes, I cried? Got sand in my eyes... I was really touched when she woke up from the coma and didn't even remember him. I mean come on, if that was me I'd run away and cry the whole day. For the things they went through and the time they spent, all ending up in nothing. Although yes, I knew he was going to kiss her since its the only thing way they could "connect" but still. Although the spirit part accidents will not happen. Imagine if someone you really loved and yet get to be with suddenly forgets(got hit on the head, traumatized, old age, brainwashed, etc, hmm... too much) you. What would you feel? At least because of this movie, I learned that when that would happen you just slowly walk away, and do something. Whether or not he/she will remember you.

Well thats me. Maybe all the people in this world might be not fell the same as I do. But that's why we're unique.

Loner

My experiece as a loner, dreamer pays off. Last friday was the worst driving nightmare I ever had. Well, Since its already december and everyone know that tutuban and divisoria area is the most human conjested area in manila. And what a time for the night market to start earlier than usual.

I was on my way to get the flashdisk from my boss. Which supposed to be just at home, but when I got there they already left for sm manila. So since I was in the old turf with old computer gaming buddies. We gossip, and exchange information. Lo and behold it was already 5pm, and everyone started to stand from their seats and pay at the register, then left. Leaving me on the way to sm manila to get the flashdisk. Looking at Jose Abad Santos I saw traffic even before reaching the stoplight of padre algue. So I went back and tried Avenida, still managing to reach CM Recto. Jome called and my cellphone battle went empty. No car radio. Rain fogging all my windows and windshield. Engine Temperature reaching 60. Non-moving traffic. What more could I ask for. So I decided to go home first. I entered Benevidez thinking the traffic would actually be a bit lighter. I was wrong. But at least the traffic was moving and I got home at around 7:30pm. My gas guage was 7/8 of the half tank, upon reaching the house it was already around 1/8 half tank. I had to withdraw just to put gasoline in my gas tank. Going back home only to find that my uncle was laughing at me. Just because I forgot that it was nearing Christmas and people(walking) don't care about cars anymore since there were more people than cars in traffic.

Well at least I got home. BTW, my water reserve for my radiator was nearly empty. It was full when I left.

Damn. Buti nalang talaga hindi ako naubusan ng gas. Wala pa naman battery cellphone ko. Buti inisip ko nalang sa kotse kung susulat ko ba to? Tapos ung cris cringle na 7 gifts na kulang ko sa college buddies ko. Brown triangle??? Bawal tombleron. Buti nalang mabilis tumakbo oras dun.

investiture

Nov. 19-20, 2005 we recognized new scouts in our scouting organization. It was a long night and early morning. Im just good at making short summaries with not much detail. So it started on a normal saturday morning class, followed by the Parent-Teachers Conference of our institution. And after that the preparation for overnight investiture. It was kind of short since we only did 5 things 1.) Cooked Dinner 2.) Campfire 3.) Sleep 4.)Interview 5.) Investiture. Of course some will have some detail.

The campfire skits/songs were a bit short, but it was enough for the campfire itself before it runs out. Some made commercials that we can't even hear, some made commercials that looked nice.

The investiture happened sunday morning was really short, actually I didn't even see it happen because I just came down from the interview area.

The interview with the students made me understand who really joined for a reason, who joined because of influence, and those who joined for no reason at all. The only thing that made me think was a person who keeps answering in a "Ewan Ko(I Don't know)", Hindi Ko Alam(I have no idea).

Then came the time to pack up and go home. I played volleyball, and to my amazement I'm still good(just good not better). Also played badminton in the saturday afternoon and I'm really getting rusty on that sport. At least I still know how to play the sport.

Just wanted to chat this down before I run out of brain power, because I only had 30 mins of sleep.

LSS

Yesterday a friend of mine from college asked me if know the song from the chicken little commercial. And about the guy in a webcam lip singing the numa numa. The he ask me if i could download a mp3 version. Guess what from a loving p2p I got a 192kb/s 5 meg file. And the last part of the song is just stuck on my head.

Some parts of me literally hurts

Just woke up a few minutes ago. Which was around 11 o'clock in the morning. Before I could even stand up and fix my sofabed my back started aching, maybe it was due to the athletics moves I made. Well maybe not athletic, but because it was a bit part of the game. So this is a flash back.

Yesterday, well if we talk about yesterday I slept at around 1:30am and I needed to wake up at 6:00 because my thesismates and I, needed to defend our program, which didn't turn out so good because there were so many recommended changes. Not real changes but they wanted to see the results of wizards, you know the step by step guide of a program that makes you life a bit easier while working on applications, thats a wizard. Since we were not assigned to make the other programs which will visually show if our program really worked. Well we need to make them this time. But at it was all good since if we defended that thesis in the next sem, we would be cramming all over again just to make those programs.

Along that time most of the instuctors in our organization was absent during our classes. Due to actual valid reasons for each. Its a good thing that we have a very experience and understanding leader to handle our classes.

So this is the part were my first paragraph will be explained. We had a basketball instramurals in our high school. We were agaist the Church Team. I thought I would be late for the game since I came at around 1:30pm. So the game started, I the tallest guy around would obviously try to get the toss. So it started, ... the first fall I had was when I rebounded the ball took the shot a there was a player behind me, I fell down tailbone first, which didn't actually hurt. The second fall was I took a charge(offensive foul) and went down on my back, that hurts a bit. The third and the last fall was, I was trying to get a steal, the guy used his body to prevent me from getting the ball, fell to my side, and I got scratches on my right elbow and knee. Since it was the Church Team, they play intensively during weekends everyweek. We had to play real hard and might be the muscle pain I feel right now.

Oww...

Gunz Online

The ever famous. but notorius GunZ. Famous for being a good 3rd person slash-shooting game with matrix like moves without the bullettime. Notorius in gaming/internet cafes for eating up a lot of bandwidth, and non connectivity for players within a LAN.

No bullettime feature is good, why? would you like the game to slow down every possible second? I for one don't want that to happen. So what makes it a Matrix (the movie) type of game? Simple the availability of the dash, dashing forward, backward, and sidewards on the ground or in mid air; Wall runs, jumps, climbs and hang.

Personally I like the game, because the fun of using techniques I've practice for a while and using it on beginner and intermediate levels. The veterans of the game using the slash-shot, makes me envy them. Since its a techniques that some people like me tend to have a hard time executing. But what the heck, I still can handle them maybe around 1:5 which is not bad, I think, since some people really can't kill people using this technique.

Just another day =D Going to work later at 2pm. Thinking about also doing a 20 whatever. But maybe I'll finish reviewing games first =D

Currently running ...

I've just downloading a new game, although its not really that new. The games SpaceCowboy by masangsoft which was a 3D MMOG. The website is nice, due to a nice flash layout. The game client is a whopping 466MB exe file. This game has a pretty good graphics, anime style, but not the cartoony. The gameplay is pretty fun, playing it the first 15 mins, but the sound in town sucks. I felt like I was playing Anarchy Online with the background music, which made me stop playing. Oh! By the way, the highlight for this game is you fly a ship, kill/destroy flying creature/objects, gaining experience, buying upgrades.


In which I played a local versioned game. SkyRaider which was basically the same concept of flying ships as a highlight, but this one uses channels and rooms to be able to play the game. One thing bad about this game is "There's no one playing!". Enough said, it will not be soon, until I play this game again.

Another game I've playing right now is DarkThrone, which is a MMORPG text-based. Its been a long time since I played a text-based game, the last one was Ambar. This game is for 2 types of players only, IMO. Since its main objective is to attack other players bases, Obviously the first one would be being aggressive. While the other type of player is a defensive, money making machine. Unlike Ambar, Utopia, etc. this game doesn't have magic.

But I'm still wishing that I could run Battlefield2, stupid GForce MX440 64MB.

RO

Ragnarok Online is the first MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game) to hit the Philippines.

Ages ago, according to the manga, a war waged between the humans, the gods, and the demons. During the conflict, a giant's heart was shattered into pieces called the Ymir, pieces which held great power. After much bloodshed, a loose alliance was formed, allowing for thousands of years of peace. This peace also bred generations of humans who did not truly understand the lessons of their past, which doomed them to once again repeat their mistakes. As legends were passed down from their ancestors, a group became enthralled with the stories of the Ymir, desiring the mystic powers it held, and so began the story of Ragnarok Online. -megagames description

This game is pretty popular in the Philippines, almost all the internet/gaming cafe have a ample amount of customers playing the game. All thought its popular most of the accounts playing right now are run by bot programs. Imagine playing an "MMORPG" with scripted programs that destroys the games economy. Hmm... so whose role-playing, well first of all its not the fault of the botters. It's just that the company (LUG) obviously is generating more income due to the top-up (payment scheme) of these bot accounts. Excuse my language but, THIS IS BULLSHIT. Although I like playing the game I'd rather play it on an alternate c",2 server where I could communicate and enjoy the game. Maybe its should just be classified as an MMOG (Massive Multiplayer Online Game with lots of npcs like characters (bots).

Maybe if LUG thinks of the game, players and not the money they generate, maybe people like me won't be shifting to other games. Well, I just hope it doesn't happen to another game they are currently beta testing.

I have to admit, I still like the game, but I don't want to play it for a long time.

Tagaytay

Packing cloths and utensils, waiting silently, thinking about not going to sleep, and yet I still went to sleep around 12:00 friday midnight, and woke up at around 2:45 waiting for a message. At around 3am I did recieve a message. Waiting, waiting, waiting, my cellular phone suddenly rang at around 3:45 am. I knew this is gonna be another long, comedic weekend. Meeting at mightee mart, we brought items that we need personally and for the group. And then were off... (Oct 29 4:20am).

Running at an average speed of 80kph we reach Tagaytay proper at around (i forgot) i think it was around 7-8 am, with three stop overs, one at makati, one at petron south super highway, and one on 7-11(seven eleven) at tagaytay proper. We reach our destination, a resort at the bottom of the mountain range really near the lake. Expecting this place to be cold, well I guess I'm wrong.

Day 1, We basically played card the whole morning, nothing really happened until the afternoon. We ate at Leslie's which was a bit of a fancy restaurant that is open air with a roof of course =D, the ambience was excellent, you really feel like eating in that place although the price tag is a little big above average, it really well worth it, the food was fantastic, never have I tasted such tasty local Filipino cuisine. After that we went to the market, bought some seafood, back to the resort and played cards, PS2. Then night came( I didn't even saw the sunset) We ate dinner a bit late. Making conversations that made me know that I have yet to know more about these group of friends. Chatting and playing through the night until we fell asleep, one by one.

Day 2, Woke up around 6 am doing daily rituals, ate breakfast and went trekking on the center island in taal lake. The boat that took us to the central island was around 1.2k php and is good for 6-7 people at most.When we reached the islet we had to pay a guide, entrace fee and horses for the trekking trip. Since trekking is all about walking we walk along a estimated 4km trail which would lead to the main crater of the taal volcano. It was a grusome experience for some of my friends, since it was a bit unexpected. But the trip was well worth it because of the view of the sulfuric lake inside the islet, which is view from the top of a mountain. Although personally the price tag was not worth it. The experience was very nice. We needed to ride horses down the trail to save some time though.
Reaching the resort once again exactly half of the group went out for lunch at Sonya's Bed and Breakfast, and the other half cooked a homemade can opened goods =D Sonya's requires reservations and has a fixed buffet price tag of 550php with unlimited daladan juice. The group I'm with later started to play card games and board games, only ending up to a session of getting to know me(as in me) better... I wish that I could tell them everything about what they wanted to know, but its just my nature to be secretive and silent, although I talked, they understood when I wanted to keep information to myself. Which properties you cannot just find within friends.
Evening came good eats from our favorite canned goods plus chicken which was basically wasted because the were so many left overs... =( After dinner we played some card games and then one friend of mine taught me of how to mix drinks(barista =D yeah right!!! =))) The amount of alchohol I drank was no more than 1/30 of a liter of vodka plus juices, which actually taste nice. Chatting, eating, driking and one asleep we sang song till morning and I slept at around 2am

Day 3, last day, woke freezing cold because the airconditioner was turn on to super cool in a small room, and I was wearing shorts and a basketball jersy. Run out got my jacket and couldn't get back to sleep at around 5:30am We cooked breakfast without our master chef which was not feeling well together with the one who was asleep all night. Well nothing much really happened on the last day. Just some balance to settle, baggages to fix, plans to finalize. On the way home we had 3 stop overs. One at sandy's for picture taking, one at solvenier shop, and finally on shell south super highway for lunch at 4+pm. And got home safely at around 6:45pm.

Thanks guys =D
Correct me if I'm wrong on the restuarant name
Till next time

Sorry for me being such a weird guy in terms of thinking... =)
edit:11/1/05 wrong restaurant name (sanday to sonya's)

I can't believe ...

I can't believe for the first time I got here with the correct password for the first time. Because after I paused from blogging I kept forgetting my password. Which made me very lazy to keep on changing it to a password i could remember.

I can't believe that its already been more than two months since I last updated my blog.

I can't believe that I'm started feeling sick about my job. I thought that I could keep up with this job like for a few years, now I'm feeling that I should try to keep this average pay, anytime (but mostly during the night till early morning) job.

I can't believe that I still don't have the energy and the reason to finish my thesis, my groupmates would already be hating me right now for being so lazy.

I can't believe that our overnight "leisure camp" was so boring and yet it kept we almost awake the whole day. A fun camp turned leisure due to the rain.

I can't believe that I misspelled believe to belive up until now.

I can't believe that I still mistyping this.

I can't believe that I have to look this up on the dictionary just to make sure its the correct spelling. Oh there's a spell check feature here... and it does not work if I have firefox blocking the popup window.

I can't believe that I blocked the shot of the team captain of the opposing team during the basketbal intramurals at gchs last saturday.

I can't believe that I'm really going to post this...

I can but I just want to keep myself occupied for a while =)

2 months of nothingness?

June to August and I haven't posted anything on the blog, simply because I was just to lazy to do so. It was the starting of classes, although I myself don't have an actually class in my college, I do have a class of my own which involves me teaching. It was also the time where I have nearly no physical exercise, simply because there were no basketball games to play, or maybe they just forgot to invite me to play, but not playing basketball gave me a little advantage, I saved a lot of money.

Being lazy was always a big factor for success that is why I'm still in college, my goodness, I should have had already graduated FCOL. And yet I still have to enroll in one subject "Thesis 2", we'll if my groupmate would be able to read this then I'm as good as dead (right...). A class of my own? Yep! I teach some high school students on saturdays, which keeps me on the go, At least I'm not a couch potato. Though they don't seem to understand what or why we teach, maybe if the would be able to read this they would understand. It's simply to help them grow up (period). There are many pretty girls though, but there must be a limit as always.

I could already count the number of times I had basketball game this last two months and thats 4. Every time I would play basketball it actually leeches my money =| I usally spend 100 php on the game for the court rental and another 100php for lunch or dinner. So, that's already 200php and I earn like what 10kphp if I play basketball everyday I'd be bankrupt. But of course at school I could play for free =).

Work! For two months now. So far its fine, but there are a lot of times when I get home at around 12 mn. Sometimes I don't go home at all just to finish a priority. But starting tommorow I could relax just a bit. >.<

Well that all for now. Thanks for visiting. If your in my yahoo messenger why don't you comment a bit =), thanks for the time.

God Bless.

Astig na horoscope to ah . =)

Whoa -- you've got so much power surging through you that you could light up a city. Thank goodness you have a special companion who can act as a circuit breaker -- you supply the juice while they act as a grounding element. Go ahead and use your current electromagnetic resonance to its fullest extent without fear, however -- your buddy will also warn you if you're about to cause a brownout in the area. It's situations like this that remind you how lucky you are to have found each other.

Galing ng friendster

Back from A Camp

The longer I have in scouting the more I understand the its purpose and responsibilities. Yet I find it hard to implement it because it is different from what I understand. Except for campings. In which it is always fun. Yet gets boring if you lack sleep.

The camping was actually great I think I already hiked for more than 10 hours. The feeling was nice, but some of the sights now makes me feel sad. Simply because some parts of the mountain has trash, very irritating to the eyes. Also it was cool hearing young people cheering their hearts out. Even if they voices are already fading. There was also a girl, cute, has a nice smile ... parang ung smile ng yahoo messenger na :D na may braces lang nga. These young people only had around 3 hours of sleep for the whole duration of the camp... Mas matagal pa tulog naming mga staff. Medyo nakakahiya pero at least hindi sila inaantok kasi meron sila ginagawa. Kami pag tapos ng work objectives namin, Idle na, kaya nakakaantok.

Hopefully I can get to be part of the staff again next year: 1. baka makita ko pa ung girl 2. Makalabas ng bahay 3. May bagong matututunan.

As I got home... what I'm suppost to do is sleep since I still lack sleep and yet I already watch an hour worth of television, and now writing this blog, checking my emails.

Still feeling idle since I have nothing else to do ... Again, But tomorrow I'll start with my new work. Hopefully I'll be successful. =P

*tignan niyo nalang sa album ng friendster ko... ung mga pic

P2P

Peer to peer has been around us ever since the start of Napster. The cool cat logo that could download songs from other people who joins the network. Then came Gnutella, eD2k, BitTorrent, Kazza, iMesh, Gnutella2.

So far I've tried BitTorrent, Gnutella & 2, Kazaa and eD2k.

Kazaa obviuosly has a bit of a bad reputation at the start because of the cases with spywares and adwares that are bundled with the p2p software.

Bit Torrent is one of the most amazing p2p available simply because it would depend on the total no of people downloading the software, even if the other people just started downloading it which makes the downloading faster than the usual provided many people has it or is currently downloading it.

Gnutella and Gnutella 2 - as fas as i knew is best for dial up users since it has a small queue and has many clients using this network like limewire, bearshare, shareaza, etc.

eD2k or eDonkey - currently the network I'm using since it gives advantage to broadband users it has a function to give a user who uploads more a jump in the thousands of queue.

Some disadvantages of p2p is just when there are no users who has your "wants", or just doesn't want to share. or most of the time a free program or song can be downloaded faster using a link rather than p2p.

If I got one of the network description wrong tell me about it ... because its from my own understanding

Happy Mother's Day

Mama - Spice Girls

She used to be my only enemy and never let me be free,
Catching me in places that I know I shouldn't be,
Every other day I crossed the line,
I didn't mean to be so bad,
I never thought you would
become the friend I never had.

Back then I didn't know why,
why you were misunderstood,
So now I see through your eyes,
all that you did was love,

Mama I love you, Mama I care,
Mama I love you, Mama my friend,
Your my friend

I didn't want to hear it then but
I'm not ashamed to say it now,
Every little thing you said and did was right for me,
I had a lot of time to think about,
about the way I used to be,
Never had a sense of my responsibility.

Back then I didn't know why,
why you were misunderstood,
So now I see through your eyes,
all that you did was love,

Mama I love you, Mama I care,
Mama I love you, Mama my friend,
Your my friend

But now I'm sure I know why,
why you were misunderstood,
So now I see through your eyes,
all I can give you is love,

Mama I love you, Mama I care,
Mama I love you, Mama my friend,
My friend

Mama I love you, Mama I care,
Mama I love you, Mama my friend,
You're my friend

In love in you,in love in me
and love is true,and guaranteed

Kasiyahan

For someone... Whenever I see you smile I'm happy, whenever I see you laugh I'm happy, whenever I see you sad I'm curious, whenever I see you look I'm happy, whenever I see you make jokes I'm laughing, Never saw you cry always happy, Just looking at you makes me happy, Happiness is what I want for you, Happiness is all I need. It doesn't matter if it won't become us, it wouldn't matter if you hate me, it shouldn't matter if you hurt me, it would matter if you like me, then I would really be happy. Love cannot be forced, I wouldn't let your learn, learning to love someone, is different from loving someone, So that why its simply me... Just thinking of you makes me happy. :)

Job Experience

When we were just fresh college graduates...(not yet a graduate actually) in our school we didn't have ojt for our course, its ok, no need to try to get a job. I thought that what you learned in school was less than what you will really need at work... which is obviously true... And yet when we go out in our jobs we slowly realize that being inside a job without experience high positioned people don't trust you ... unless if your really confident during the interview( makapal ang mukha :P ).

Today during work (summer job lang for those people na baka di makapaniwala) I know what Ghost does... and yet I don't know how to use it...(parang tangek di kasi ako mahilig mag testing ng mga di ko masyado gagamitin na software) Its easy to use once you know the sequence you don't just ghost a drive... the 1st drive should always be your boot drive (which is the one that is set in the bios) and then the destination drive. Pero obvious naman for 8 straight hour impossible na yan lang natutunan ko. I learned how to set domains (in windows not web domains) and its use (just to restrict people from using your folders... can only be opened using your user account). Switching the Cable of the floppy drive the opposite way will test if there is power when you see the light on the floppy drive always on. Hm... ano pa ba... Ah! almost all of the computer components right now are autovolt...(100-240AC No fear of smoking things up.... almost all lang ah...). Plus if the usb drive at the front was placed incorrectly the usb flash drive will not work anymore... Hmm... dami pa... Nearly everything just under my nose waiting for me to test and explore.

For just a period a 5 days I learned many things.... pano pa kaya pag nag work ng 1 month... more information nanaman yan..( sorry ah... naniniwala ako na ... information is power ) no wonder companies want to hire people who already has experience in a specific field. :)

Wala lang just sharing my thoughts. :D

Jobs...

I started working at GCHS yesterday just for something else to do aside from sitting in front of my computer... the just was just a summer job, so by mid May I'll be out of the job... which gives me around 1 month of work experience :P

I was assigned to the computer center of the main office where I working with computer application, then later for registration a part of the technical team. First day was pure encoding job which nearly made me tired of looking at phone numbers... Today was very interesting, Sir Vernon taught me about the window iis component which could be used for hosting your own website ftp and even stmp mail. We also checked some computer and installed anti virus program. Sir Simeon (sim) was more the silent type, we made a few adjustment for the manual to be used for the registration and the booksale. Tommorow I'm assigned to work on poster like annoucement.

So far I think this is better than programming, since I'm a computer science student. I basically have no passion for programming ever I started OOP... I felt like I was in a different world which later set my mind that java is hard.. and I never improved in it... (my fault). Feeling that I would be better in computer application and a technician.

But of course I was motivated to still study java since it is a "valuable"$ language. But in java I'm just good at using special tools that automatically generates code for me instead of me hard coding it... which is in a way bad since I won't have much practice...

I think I'm gonna study javascript, php, and flash instead and just create my own sites.

Wonder if I would be successful... :D

Since the Beginning

Do you remember anything about what you first saw when you were still young? Just jump to this topic because I don't really have anything else to do... :P

The only thing that I remember, which I first saw, was the stairs where im living right now... And if I'm not mistaken I was already 2 years old that time... Isn't it amazing that we don't remember anything about being babies until the time that you first remember something ... and yet you already know you parents and relative names... the location of your bedroom, of the confort room, and the dining area... When I was thinking about this I was amazed at what we already know before we gain "conciousness".

Well just my opinion... hehe :D just nothing else to do I guess...

Paranormals

Last night we had a conversation with a few friends. We started to talk about ghost stories that they knew :) Everybody knows that almost all their schools started as either a cemetery, hospital, church, farmland, and/or morgue. (Yeah right!) Because of this people started to make ghost stories... Now I don't actually believe in these paranormals... why? To see is to believe right... Actually I also don't intend to see 1 :P

If these paranormals exists. Then what would be the reason for their existence... From GCHS my high school, when it is ask to elder people they would say that these are devils who take form of love ones or people we knew or people that existed before. But why would some paranormals haunt in a specific time, specific manner and in a specific area? Thus this really prove that these are the spirits of the dead searching for revenge, or understanding? So should this be taken seriously... I doubt it! Simply because the reason why so see, hear, feel bad things, paranormals is just maybe because of stress, jokes, hallucinations, pranks... But if they really exists then they must be there for some reason... not just killing or scaring...

Starcraft Part II

Yesterday, April 13, 2005 we had another round with the computer and this time we are able to win against the computer with nice success rating :) Well although we not as good as the people we know that really can play. This is just for fun. Human 4 Computer 2 we had to surrender twice for just the reason of extra high latency :|

Starcraft

Speaking of this never dying game since July 1998 (i think) my Grace colleagues went to play last saturday April 9, 2005 . It was already version 1.12b and our asses were kicked by the computer. 4 on 4. But after a few rounds of losing, we decided to make it a 4 on 3 match to give us a little bit of an advantage, and we actually won... after the match, we went back to a 4 on 4 match... we won with with jome's templars and dark templars and my moving photon base ( ate the center of the map) which was cool. We went out for lunch. It was to my understanding that we are already done and ready to go home... OMG! we still continued to play :) . Then our asses were kick again with the computers zergling rush!... At the end of the day humans 3 computers more than 7. Why don't they make it just like warcraft 3 where you could adjust the difficulty of the computers... Oh well, it was still fun :)

Yan ang nagagawa pag boring...

The Commonly Confused Words Test
World-accessible: http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=14457200288064322170
by shortredhead78




Very Literate
You scored 86% Beginner, 93% Intermediate, 75% Advanced, and 83% Expert!
You have a very good understanding of beginner, intermediate, and expert level commonly confused English words, getting at least 75% of each of these three level's questions correct. You didn't get as many of the advanced level questions correct, but don't fret. This is a great score. Remember, these are commonly confused English words, which means most people don't use them properly. You got a very respectable score.
Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For answers to the Beginner section only (the first ten questions), visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/. I will post the answers to the other questions as soon as possible.






Hey! If you liked my test, send the link to your friends. They don't need to be OkCupid members to take it.
The Commonly Confused Words Test
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=14457200288064322170
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Dull life

My daily dull life... everyday from mondays to fridays -- wake up --> eat --> morning ritual --> open moden --> open router --> open pc --> friendster --> messenger --> media player --> sit--> lunch --> doNothing(); --> wait(5:00pm) --> one piece --> striker --> doNothing(); --> dinner --> evening ritual --> doNothing(); --> sleep .

sunday saturday? just add basketball, outing, "OR", malling.

HOW DULL COULD MY LIFE BE? may mas gagrabe pa ba sakin? NO JOB NO SCHOOL NO NOTHING... couldn't even go to a friends house... walang walking distance for crying out loud!...

The way people think?

Just my opinion, since I've got nothing else to do today.

Do they think first of the consequence of what the do or say? or they do it without thinking? If you read this post then it would mean that you already know that your about to waste time to read a stupid post... yet we do it without thinking... why? Does interest affect thinking... maybe that's the reason why most people who study college don't end up with something that they actually want. Making them unable to finish or finish without understanding the concepts and fundamentals of what they studied about. Or do they think of the consequences where they know that they want to study this course because they believe it will get them to what they really want.

What affect human thinking? ... emotions?, reactions?, interest??? Do you think about the decisions you make when you are being ask impromptu questions? Does persistent questions make you answer irrationally?

I wrote this to actually remind myself ... maybe when I get old but... What should we think about when making decisions? Should it be about public or private interest? or Should it be made immediately to make life more exciting?

Is she the right one for me?

Maybe not... syempre lahat kayo d alam kung sino tinutukoy ko. Pero nung huli ko siya makita laking tuwa ko dahil mabait parin siya sobra. The problem is baka d talaga kami bagay... why? halos lahat ng interest pareho kami(hmm.. which is ok right?) pero in terms of skills academics she's way better. Kulang nalang malaman ko na mas magaling pa sakin yan mag computer games... pero I doubt na naglalaro ng games to... Grabe d ko alam kung ano gagawin ko... pang 4 na to... hihintay nanaman ba ako ng iba na pwede ko pa mas lalo maging kalapit... biruin mo dapat pala kilala ko na to 4 years ago... pero nung october ko lang siya napansin... (o nasisiraan lang ako ng ulo...)

Anyways gusto ko lang kc sulat to d2 dahil... ayaw ko naman sabihin to people face to face. Mag tatanong na sana ako sa ibang tao eh... nakakahiya at masisira lang ang loob ko... Pero sana last na to.

Job Hunting

A friend text me last monday if I already have a job ... abviously the people who know me, knew that I'm jobless... I was invited to apply at Genetics Computer Institute to become a computer technician for St. Jude Catholic School in Legarda. Unexpectedly it was also the interview.

I though that I'm will not get nervous... But I was very wrong ... the first question was already... Do you know what job you applied for ... I wasn't able to answer immediatelly thinking if I would say the proper words and appropriate answers... My english began to diminish ... It was like I was a elementary student again... Looking for vocabularies, pronounciation. Which made me more nervous.

At least I got it through the day... Hoping that I could have done better...

Read Me First ! ! !

As most of you wouldn't know, I am usually afraid to confront and talk to people face to face. I only talk my mind when I'm in front of my computer. Some of you might think that, that is not true. But it is. I'm thinking of putting everything in this blog. So I hope that you would always comment on my blog so that I would have an idea of what I might be doing wrong or what I'm doing right.